Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
