the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
