I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
