were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
