Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
