my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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