I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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