Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
