i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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