xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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