my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
