Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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