it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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