Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
