Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
