In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
