dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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