a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
