return my video game
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Don't EVER smell your tampon
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
