im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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