I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
