my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
