Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
