turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
