I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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