i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
