is wine microwaveable?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
