you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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