Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
