FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
