It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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