someone threw a dead crab at me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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