Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
