I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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