Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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