You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
