i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
