Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
