i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
