So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
