I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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