I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
