so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
