Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
