Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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