Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Terrible idea I love it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
