Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
