South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
