And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
