I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
