I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
